We are deaf and disabled and needing charity.
When it comes us deafies, we often don’t like to be considered disabled or in need of charity, but the truth of the matter is, we are disabled and we often do rely on the charity of others, and charitable organizations. It’s not so much that we need a hand out, but a leg up in society as often times we find it exceptionally difficult to find work, or if we do find work we find it difficult to get promoted and get raises and the like.
Deaf and Seeking Employment
I’ve had a recent experience with trying to find employment, having asked first hand with the management if they are willing to employ those with a hearing disability. The management typically respond with the usual “Oh yes we hire people with disabilities”. Then it comes down to brass tax of actually hiring someone with a hearing disability and suddenly places that are hurting for employees somehow magically no longer have any positions that need filled. Amazing.
It’s times like that, when I’m actively seeking employment once again in my life because having a little extra money each month could and would definitely help me out, not just out of a sense of self fulfillment but also the financial gain of being employed. Hell I’d be willing to lose my disability benefits if I could find a job that would employ me steadily full time and give me raises for good performance, and possibly promotions too, that would be nice too.
But alas, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Arbys, Checkers, Burger King, and numerous other places that I could mention within the last couple of months, have suddenly no longer needed any new employees the moment I showed up for an interview at a place that “hires the disabled”. Even more fishy when after my interview a friend of mine tried getting on at McDonalds a couple days later (literally), got interviewed and ended up starting next week on Monday. Amazing, they didn’t need help when I was interviewed but then needed help a couple days afterwards afterall. I smell a lot of fish in this case.
The Discrimination Conundrum
Seriously, what gives man? Is my hearing disability so drastic, even though I can clearly lip read well enough to hold a one on one conversation during an interview that I simply cannot be employed? I really do want and need that extra little bit to help me out, both mentally for my own well being and financially to have that little extra spending cash. I’m not some teenager only getting a job because his/her parents are forcing them to and they begrudgingly go to work or face the wrath of their parents. Quite the opposite, I’m a full grown adult eager to be employed. I really do want to work, honestly I do.
It’s issues with finding work like that which cause me to think maybe I should give up seeking employment yet again. Yup, this isn’t my first round in seeking employment. It’s excessively difficult to get a job. I’m up front and honest about my hearing disability, informing them that I’m deaf, reason being is I don’t want it to become a surprise after I’m hired on, but that seems to be the only way to get a job is to hide my disability, which I shouldn’t have to.
I’m not requesting an ASL interpreter to be with me at all times, just simple jobs I can take care of without having the need to hear people holler things out. I can alter the way I work in order to be able to fulfill my job tasks without the need for extra communication and without assistance from others. It just means I take even more steps to make sure everything is to order and not out of stock (like grilling burgers at a fast food joint) or paying extra attention to screens and the like for orders.
Deaf and Charity
So without being able to get employment, what am I to do? I have to rely on my disability payments coming in and I have to rely on the charity of others. I don’t like having to run off every Monday to a local food bank to get help with food. But I do it so I can make my money stretch as much as I can. I don’t like the fact that where I can I get free clothes from various local charities.
I would much rather spend a little extra on food products, I’d rather be able to afford fresh produce each week and I would definitely love to be able to afford to go vegetarian, but processed meats in various foods is cheaper than fresh food and the food bank gives several packages of meats and sweets and breads every week. Beggers can’t be choosers.
So the multi-billion dollar question is. What do I do? I could potentially do this thing where I run around selling misc crap to people out by selling them from their sympathy as is a common scam as mentioned by ATR on his blog about fake charity. However I don’t mix well in public, and being a mainstreamed deaf, my ASL isn’t up to snuff. I know it, but I’m not fluent in it and wouldn’t want to run the risk of being called a scammer when I’m not. We have enough to deal with.
Do I throw out a paypal address and hope for the best, hoping that someone will have sympathy enough to donate the extra money to me? Well that would end up making me feel worthless, which I already feel using food banks and doesn’t give me self fulfillment. Though that is tempting, I highly doubt anyone would really open up their wallets to a rando on the internet. I’m not big name personality and definitely don’t have the social pull to really get that kind of personal charity.
The Deaf Conclusion
So what I’m likely to do is to continue on with the status quo. Continue going to food banks and local charities and keep receiving my social security payments.
What I want is a fucking job, but that seems out of the question, and my ethics in regards to hiding my disability feels too much like lying in order to get employed which is also something I don’t want to compromise on.
Thus, I will continue to be nothing more than a leech upon society. I hate this about myself.