Stop pretending to care for the hard of hearing

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I have a message for the Deaf Culture part of the deaf community, the perpetually offended minority of the deaf community, the 20% of the deaf community that attempts to speak for all deaf and hard of hearing alike. You don’t speak for all deaf people and you certainly as hell don’t speak for nor care for the hard of hearing, so please do everyone a favor and admit that you’re just selfish pricks looking for more benefits solely for yourself regardless if it hurts others or not.

You advocate for the hard of hearing by telling them, “Oh we are here for you” and then you start pushing ASL on them as if that’s going to help them any. Know what would actually help the hard of hearing, who are generally involved in a culture far away from deaf culture? Things like hearing aids. You know those things that some people like myself wear? Yeah, those things.

Know what doesn’t help them? ASL.

Why does hearing aids help them? Because being hard of hearing implies that they have enough hearing ability that a hearing aid will give them a greatly improved quality of life and still be able to navigate and participate in the mainstream cultures at large involving the hearing.

Know why ASL doesn’t help them? Because most of them already have a culture they’re a part of and that involves being around the hearing for a large degree of their lives. So them knowing ASL isn’t going to help them any if nobody around them knows ASL.

The arguement against my argument here is that the hard of hearing knowing ASL can participate in deaf culture. Well, I would buy into your argument and concede my own, if that were actually true. You see, I’m deaf and even I get run off from mingling among deaf culture, and I’m seriously fucking deaf.

You’re so paranoid and uptight about protecting “muh culture” from outsiders that you perceive everything, even a minor question, as an attack for being culturally insensitive by people who know nothing about your culture because low and behold they’re not a part of the culture and are trying to be.

You seriously run a hell of a lot of people off. You guys ran me off and I’m deaf too, and the Hard of Hearing get the same kind of treatment I got the several times I’ve attempted. You refuse to kick the toxic people out of your groups and you all seem to congregate to every group. I’m not kidding, I went to a deaf meetup and two people were being complete asses and it’s sign language, you can clearly see the person being a cunt, especially when others are paying attention to the new guy.

I’m like alright, well I’m not going to that one ever again, those guys were complete assholes treating me like shit. So I go to another one two cities over, a one hour drive to get there and what do I see? Mostly all the same people including the two assholes as before and nobody bothered to kick those toxic pricks out.

Welcoming and inclusive my ass. Oh that deaf person lip reads, therefore he’s an outsider. The Hard of Hearing get the same thing, “Oh he can hear, he’s hard of hearing, he’s not one of us, he’s an outsider” and you treat them like complete shit too and the people that treat him like shit? Nothing happens to them, they’re not kicked from the group, they’re not chasticed by the group, nothing.

Don’t believe me? Then how come discussion topics started by the hard of hearing are too commonly started like Reddit user heheikb689 on the /r/deaf subreddit who says the following.

Title: Is it just me or do Deaf people dislike hard of hearing people more than hearing people?

I’ve tried learning sign language and getting involved in Deaf culture as someone who became hard of hearing in their early teens, but every time I end up feeling more excluded than when I’m around hearing people. If I try using broken sign language, people just laugh at me or roll their eyes. If I ask someone to slow down their signing I get treated similarly. This has never happened to me when trying to learn a new oral language, where people are willing to slow down and help you (unless they’re xenophobic or something). Yet when you see a hearing person learning sign language they are lionized and treated well by the group.

I feel like there should be solidarity between our two communities as we both face exclusion and isolation from the structurally hearing world but I honestly feel lonelier around Deaf people than around many hearing people, who take my struggles with my self-perception/language as existential quirks rather than existential failures (yes, Deaf people seem to assume you’re a failure if you can’t sign and if you feel a shame over your hearing loss).

Anyways before you attack my generalizing please give me good examples where HOH people, especially adult HOH were helped by the Deaf community? I’m feeling like I should give up on my disability activism sometimes…

End quote.

You think he’s alone?

Reddit user Psychoticdream responds to question and statement quoted just a moment ago.

Quote: nope it’s something that actually happens. as a HoH guy my sign language is bad, some deaf people are patient, others treat you like they treat foreigners who don’t know the local language. with derison.

it happens. most people are nice and will slow down or correct you but there’s usually a few more that will look down on you like some kind of peasant.

HoH people tend to be the outcasts of the hearing world, and the outcasts of the deaf community. it happens, you might get luckier than most of us though..
Annnd unquote

And there’s more

ladyMmJay says “I hate the clique mentality. It’s so childish. Regardless of our hearing abilities or non hearing abilities we are all people. I really wish the deaf community was more welcoming.”

inkathebadger says about his deaf or near deaf wife, “Are you my wife? She’s basically one step away from needing and implant has hearing aids and is speaking deaf, and was transferred to a school when she was younger so she could better learn sign and so on and basically hated the whole time she was there because the fully deaf and BSL fluent seemed to hate her guts.

Whenever I mention us taking an ASL course (cause we in Canada now) or checking out local deaf/HOH groups she looks like she’s gunna have a panic attack because of those bad years.”

Geddyn says, “I have worn hearing aids since I was three. I never learned sign language when I was young and have made multiple efforts to integrate with the deaf community as an adult, but my experience has been the same as yours each time.

As a result, I no longer even bother to attempt to learn ASL, nor do I make any effort to interact with the deaf community.”

There’s so many hard of hearing and even deaf people who’ve attempted and attempted and attempted some more only to be treated with hostility and contempt. To be run off like Frankensteins Monster by a mob of uncaring jackasses.

You want to help the hard of hearing and the vast majority of deaf people (the whole whopping 80% of the deaf population that aren’t in deaf culture)? How about you stop soaking up all the god damn resources for your pathetic, selfish bullshit and stop demonizing everyone that wants to correct their hearing and improve their life. Stop diverting funds towards deaf clubs and meetups from government funding and instead allow them to be used for improved English literacy, ASL classes, speech therapy, hearing aids and cochlear implants and audiology appointments.

And stop telling government officials that it’s “culturally offensive” because all you’re doing is hurting other deaf people and the hard of hearing in the process while claiming to be in support of them and claiming to be welcoming and inclusive when you’re clearly not.

You’re selfish idiots content with your velvety prison of reliance on everyone around you. You’re happy being deaf, great, a lot of us, myself included, aren’t happy being deaf. And you can claim “Well just learn ASL and be a part of our community” all you want, but unless you kick out and ostracize those toxic people from your groups and ban them from participating, you’re not going to be able to welcome the people that want to participate.

I wanted to participate before, but I’ve stopped trying, because of the hostile treatment I received. And the hard of hearing have the same kind of experience I had involving their attempts as well.

Stop misinforming people and stop lying. You don’t care about the hard of hearing and you don’t care about other deaf people and you’re not welcoming, you’re not inclusive. You’re unwelcoming and hostile, and furthermore you’re exclusionary by your very nature and very isolationist. I much prefer to be in the company of the hearing and hard of hearing than other deaf people much of the time because even though I’m deaf myself, Deaf Culture having cultists have made me see people with my own disability that don’t speak in a very negative light.

So now the ball is in your court. Fix your community, kick out the toxic people, and ban them. And I’m not done with Deaf Culture yet, not by a long shot, I now have 12 scripts to read through as of writing this so I have a massive bone to pick.

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